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I love music, books, movies, blah, blah, blah! I love people, learning new things, and always progressing to be a better person.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I Sense Much Fear In You...And By "You" I Mean Me

According to Psychology Today:

"Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we couldn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are in no way life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason."

Good point, Psychology Today!

Fear is something that is in all of us, be it legitimate or irrational. From time to time, I myself feel the gut-wrenching void that opens up in my belly and crawls its way into my brain whenever fear grips me by the man-bits.

Here is a list of my top-5 fears.

Neil Fears (In Order of Terror)

1. Spiders

Yes, spiders. I know it sounds cliché, but every time I see one of those eight-legged bastards my mind can't help but lock up all of my motor skills and evacuate my bowels in pure terror.
I am so afraid of spiders that even fake ones creep me out, and I had to have my little brother beat all of the levels in Resident Evil 2 that had giant spiders...

But come on! Just look at them!

(I had to have someone else paste this picture here)

Everything about spiders is pure, unadulterated EVIL!

Here is a sub-list of evil things spiders do:

I know what you're thinking, "Neil, is this a list...within a list?"

The answer is Yes!
You bitches have just been Incepted!

(Yes, drink it in.)

Anyway, here is the sub-list of evil spider actions:

A. They have eight legs, eight eyes, and fangs, and most of them are deadly poisonous.
B. The females eat their mates after sex.
C. Spider babies eat the mother after birth (seeing a pattern here).
D. The largest spider in the world is called the "Goliath Bird Eater" and it FREAKING EATS BIRDS!

And, if any of the previous items failed to convince you that spiders are pure evil, then take a look at this:

E. They trap their prey in a web, wrap them up in a death cocoon, inject them with venom that melts all of the prey's internal organs, and then they DRINK WHAT'S LEFT!

That is the most messed up way to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

Well, almost.

2. Heights

This is an odd one. I love repelling, I have been bungee jumping, and I have ridden all of the sky rides at the Stratosphere in Las Vegas. But being on a ladder or even standing next to the railing of a high stairwell makes me clam up, panic, and feel like my legs are going to give out.

(How does this not make you say AHHHHHHHHH?!?!)

3. Pickles

Okay, this isn't really a fear as much as is a raw hatred of pickles. But, some say that anger is a byproduct of fear.

But I must remind you, a pickle would kill you if it had the chance.

(See? The dirty bastards.)

4. Milky Eye

For those of you who don't know what Milky Eye is...This is milky eye:

Milky Eye (or Cloudy Cornea) is when a cloudy film covers the outside of the eye or inside of the cornea. This can be caused by several things: infection, damage to the eyeball, etc. Nevertheless it scares the crap out of me. I am not afraid of people who have milky eye, mind you; what frightens me is the thought that maybe one day I could have it.

Plus I just hate the word milky...gross.

5. Paralyzation

Once again, I am not afraid of people who are paralyzed. Just afraid that one day I will have an accident and become paralyzed. This might explain my fear of heights a little though. The only way I think I would ever be okay with paralyzation is if I got to ride around in this,

(Attach a cannon that fires t-shirts to this and you've got yourself a party!)

Fear is a strange mistress.
There are moments when you defy her and moments when you succumb to her cold embrace. But in life you shouldn't let fear hold you back from what you want. We all have let moments and opportunities pass us by because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of success (yes this is a real thing, and a lot of people will chicken out because of this one), fear of rejection, and the list goes on and on.
The point is to try your hardest to not let it drag you down. Because I never want to be the person who looks back and wonders, "What if?"

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