About Me

My photo
I love music, books, movies, blah, blah, blah! I love people, learning new things, and always progressing to be a better person.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Things I Never Thought I Would Hear...Until I Worked At Blockbuster

Have you ever had or overheard a conversation and immediately thought, "What the Fu#K was that all about?" Ever since I started working part time at Blockbuster I've had several of those moments. Here are a few that I will share with you.

1. A conversation between two women talking in line about a bachelor party her husband was throwing that night:
Lady #1: "So, are you mad about your husband's party?"

Lady #2: "No, I don't even care about the strippers. I just want the house clean for the baby blessing tomorrow. You know how it is though, party hard Saturday because Church is on Sunday."

2. My co-worker's sister was having a baby. Mind you, I had only known this person for a few hours when she yelled the following statement to me from across the room:
My Co-worker: "Neil, my sister is dilated 7 centimeters right now."

My Brain: "GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

My Mouth: "...oh."

3. While I was stocking shelves I heard a woman say the following about why she didn't want to rent a certain movie:
Woman: "I love Meryl Streep, but she is just SOOOO liberal!"

4. A little boy, around 8 or 9 said this while looking for a movie with his babysitter:
Babysitter: "How about Tommy Boy? You love Tommy Boy."

Non P.C. Boy: "That's Gay. All of these movies are gay, and you are gay for liking them."

5. A random statement I could never agree with:
Man with Bad Taste in Comedians: "That Larry the Cable Guy sure is funny! Get-er-done!"

6. All DVD and Blu-Ray rentals are $4.00 for four days. It has been that way for over a year now, but this woman decided to complain about it to me anyway:
Cheapskate Woman: "Four dollars for a movie rental?"

Me: "Yes, it's $4.00 for four days. So really only a dollar a day."

Cheapskate Woman: "Fine! I will do it this once but I am NEVER coming back here again."
(Cut to a week later, when the same woman is renting her third movie for that week.)

Cheapskate (and now unable to follow through with a threat) Woman: "Four dollars for a rental? Are you serious? I am NEVER coming back here again!"

7. If you don't have your Blockbuster Card we can use your driver's licence to pull up your account. If you don't have either a Blockbuster Card or driver's licence, I can't pull your account up. But some people are wary of giving me their driver's licences for some reason...:
Me: "Hello, do you have your Blockbuster Card or driver's license with you today?"

Afraid I Will Steal His Identity Man: "Why do you need my drivers licence?"

Me: "Well, if you don't have your blockbuster card I need it to pull up your account."

Still Afraid I Will Steal His Identity Man: "I've never heard of that."

Me: "It's just store policy, sir."

Continually Afraid I Will Steal His Identity Man: "I will just take my business elsewhere."

8. This one gets "The Most Awkward Award." I was standing at the register when two men from the same ward ran into each other. Note - I was standing literally in the middle of this conversation:
Guy #1: "Holy crap, (Guy #2's Name Deleted) how are you?"

Guy #2: "Oh, (Guy #1's Name Deleted) I didn't see you there. I'm good! What's new?"

Guy #1: "Just returning some movies. Where is (Guy #2 wife's name deleted)? We haven't seen her around this week."

Guy #2: "She is visiting her father."

Guy #1: "(Gasp) Is he sick?"

Guy #2: "No."

Guy #1: "Is it a family function?"

Guy #2: "No."

Guy #1: "When will she be back?"

Guy #2: "...Never. She's not coming back."

(There was an excruciating pause here, I am talking about a half a minute of silence as Guy #1's eyes looked as if they would pop out of his head. For some reason this is where I decided to contribute to the conversation...)

Me: "For only $3.00 more you can get a 20 oz. soda, a box of candy, and a popcorn."

(In my panic, I decided the best thing to do while these two men and myself were trapped in what might possibly be the most awkward conversation of my life, was to up-sell candy, popcorn, and soda to Guy #2...classy...always classy.)

9. A woman had just moved into a new ward and was having trouble, so a fellow member was giving her counsel (it was sweet, really...but the word choice was poor.)
Helpful Man From Ward: "There are a lot of good people in this ward. People desperate to reach out and touch you...so please, let them touch you."

10. Finally, my personal favorite, there was a customer leaving the store who had just rented a movie...this movie...
Zalman King's Body Language

From what I can gather on IMDB and from the gratuitous box cover, Body Language is a series revolving around a strip club aptly named, "Body Language." One review about the show says, "It features some really good nudity and simulated sex...shows full female genitalia..."
I only mention this because while the man who rented Body Language was about to exit the building, another customer from across the room called out to him:
Man Calling Out: "Hey Bishop! It's good to see you!"
Bishop Who Just Rented Soft-Core Porn: (Turns around) "Good to see you too..." (abruptly leaves the store)
(I could see someone not knowing what they just rented and mistakenly picking up something like that on accident...but, with the picture on the movie's cover, the name of the film, and the distinct description on the back of the box...I'm going to skip giving this guy the benefit of the doubt.)
So, in closing, please be aware of what you say in public settings. Because you never know who might be listening, watching, and wringing their hands together in anticipation to post your insane lack of people skills on the web.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Things In My Life I Hope I NEVER Say...

Neil Hiatt's List Of Phrases He Hopes Will Never Be Said By Him:

1. Wow, Twilight was an awesome movie! Hey guys!
2. I really enjoyed reading Twilight! Congratulations on finding the hidden message in my blog!
3. I'm team Jacob & team Edward! I wanted to tell you all how much I dislike Glenn Beck.
4. I'd love to join your multi-level-marketing team! I know a lot of you like him and that's okay.
5. I can't wait for the Republican National Convention this year or the Democratic National Convention for that matter. But I find his views to be unfounded, divisive, and fear mongering.
6. The way Stephanie Myer writes is just so poignant and in no way loathsome.
7. I love reality TV! Plus, he seems to flip flop on issues based on who is paying him.
8. LOL! Once again, it's okay for you to like him, just like it is okay for me to dislike him.
9. Every time I watch American Idol I feel a sense of pride for my country. I just feel....
10. You know, after a while, I hardly even notice my colostomy bag anymore.
11. When I think of open minded and tolerant people, I think of Utah. that a lot of people here...
12. Twilight is in no way misogynistic. Also, the main characters have a healthy man dominates female relationship. in Utah like him because he is Mormon and that just isn't enough for me.
13. That Arizona sure does have the right idea. Just MY opinion and if it offends you I'm sorry.
14. I've got tickets to Hannah Montana and YOU are invited! But not too sorry.
15. Who wants to go see a spoof movie? Thanks for reading, love you all, Neil Hiatt.
All in good fun no harm intended!

Good Night,

Neil Hiatt

Friday, July 2, 2010

"What are you going to do with that?"

The Greek philosopher Epictetus once said, "Only the educated are free."
If that's so, then who are the educated?

It seems that no matter how much I learn or by what means I learn it, there will always be someone there to tell me it's not enough.

At the moment, I am a mere stone's throw away from receiving my bachelor's degree, debt free, might I add, and have considered attending graduate school afterwards.

When friends, family, or acquaintances ask me what I am studying, I tell them, "Digital Media with an emphasis in film production," and their reactions have varied in some disturbing ways, ranging from smug self-righteousness to outright rudeness.

Here are a few choice remarks I have received and in the way I received them.

1. Their noses crinkle up as if they have just smelled a fart and say, "Oh...that's..." and then move on to talk to someone else.

2. They just roll their eyes and say, "So it's, some kind of art degree or whatever?"

3. They scoff and say, "So, what are you going to do with that?"

4. "Can you even make money with that?"

5. "Well that's stupid. But if you wanna walk that line..."

Let me take some time to answer a few of the questions posted.

First, no, it's not an "art degree." It's a bachelor of computer science. But even if it were "just an art degree" what the f$ck would that matter to you? Have you taken the time to search for the thousands of jobs in that field? Well, then shut the hell up.

Second, to the question, "What are you going to do with that?" Well, since it is a film degree, the goal would be to MAKE FILMS!

Third, as for money, whether or not I end up actually making films, my degree has trained me in several other fields including, but not limited to, graphic design, web design, audio, and overall digital production.
So, while I thank you for your pseudo-concern, I think I will be just fine...moving on.

It's upsetting to me that the choices I make concerning my education can illicit such a negative response from some people.

What's even more upsetting is that the people who have a smug attitude toward my choices are really in no position to judge me.

For example, in the last two weeks I have had some of these smug comments and judgments passed on me by:

1. A 30-year-old jr. high school teacher who has to have roommates live with him and his wife just so he can pay bills.

2. A massage therapy school graduate who never got her licence. (Not dissing massage school here, just if you are going to go...why not finish?)

3. A freaking migrant worker who gets paid half of what I made in high school!

Look, I don't care if these people don't make good money or if they didn't finish school, or if they can't pronounce my name correctly in English...but are they really in any position to talk down to me about my life? I think not. It's akin to that old adage about people in glass houses and not throwing rocks.

I'm sorry if the world crushed you and your dreams...or if not, I'm sorry you never tried because you were, and probably still are, afraid to fail.
I myself am afraid of failure just as much as the next person, but I'd rather fail a thousand times than ever live my life thinking "what if."
And just because you can't wrap your head around why I would study a field that I love and connect with on an emotional level, that doesn't mean you have to transfer your insecurities onto me. Because let me tell you, I am bullet proof, and it only makes me want to prove you wrong more than ever.

So, regardless of whether or not I succeed, and whether or not you believe in my abilities, I will continue to chase my dream until my legs give out.

And as for the naysayers...

With Love,

Neil Spencer Hiatt