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I love music, books, movies, blah, blah, blah! I love people, learning new things, and always progressing to be a better person.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Real Men Don't Knit Hats!!!!

So....a good friend of mine a while back was dating a guy. Lets just call her "Betty" and him "Douchey McDouchenstien" (Their names have been changed to protect the innocent).
Any ways, Douchey was what we in the dating world would call...a total TOOL! The kind of guy who wines all day and gets mad when you don't answer his text message immediately! The guy who says I love you and talks marriage after ONE WEEK!!!! Look, I am all for love and the pursuit of it but this guy makes real men look bad! What ever happened to real men? This guy wore terry cloth track suits for hells sake! No one except sweaty mobsters or Jennifer Lopez wears terry cloth jump suits!! What happened to guys who don't take crap from anyone? Guys who came to chew bubble gum and kick some ass, but they're all out of bubble gum?
And here is the kicker, you will never belive what "Douchey" did for "Betty's" birthday. He KNIT her a HAT! I'll write it a gain KNIT...HER....A...HAT!!!! First off, I can understand if you were in a family group or ward activity where everyone was kniting and you HAD to as well but that's not the case. This guy spent days ALONE in his room KNITTING A HAT FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And go figure, she ends up dumping him a month or so later for being "too much of a wuss". I am a firm believer that most heterosexual women don't want to date a man who has more of a vagina than they do. It's no wonder why so many normal guys get put into "the friend zone".
Here is a tip for you Douchey, next time you think about picking up your knitting needles, go ahead and knit yourself a pair of balls.

I'm done -

Neil Hiatt

P.S. The scottish males in the olden days all knit thier kilts. But, they HAD to knit them they didn't choose to knit them. Plush Scott's are total badasses!


you can check out some of the clips from my stand up Comedy at www.myspace.com/neilhiattcomedy

1 comment:

DBA said...

Good comedy! Also, CHRISTMAS MUSIC HERE WE COME! p.s. I think you are funny.